Someone’s taking a dump in Mike Vrabel’s house during the NFL Draft and we have questions

Tennessee Titans

There’s a lot going on in a viral still of Mike Vrabel’s war room for the Tennessee Titans during the 2020 NFL Draft, but it looks like someone’s taking a dump, and we’ve got questions.

Quarantine has got a lot of people down in the dumps, but apparently nobody more so than the guy in Tennessee Titans head coach Mike Vrabel’s house during the 2020 NFL Draft.

With the 29th pick in the draft, the virtual draft cut to Vrabel in his makeshift draft war room at home, and suffice it to say, we were not at all prepared for what we saw on our television screens.

For starters, there’s a guy in a full-body Titans suit that can only be described as off-brand, latex Mega Man wearing in basketball shorts. Pan stage right, it looks like someone posing as a frozen picture of the Joe Exotic ’80s high school football career that never existed but we somehow never knew we needed.

Cut to stage left and the woman sitting in the chair seems normal enough, but if you glance up and over her left shoulder, you’ll notice someone sitting down in the reflection of the cabinet behind her.

You’ll notice that person is squatting and looking down.

And you’ll notice that person looks like they’re taking the Browns to the Super Bowl in the middle of Titans draft HQ.

I mean…my God. The gall of such a betrayal!

Personally, I find that pinching off a pick can be difficult when I’m on the clock, but whoever this person is, they’re not bashful. Unless they’re actually mounted inside the cabinet to do their business, based on the angle, it looks like the poop-etrator is unabashedly handling said business with the door wide open.

Within eyesight (or at least earshot) of the people in the living room.

In the middle of a virtual, nationally televised NFL Draft.

Who is this heroic person, to be so comfortable with pooping with the door wide open in front of an NFL head coach, his family and the rest of America? How is the girl sitting in the chair not angry beyond all measure? Was this a stunt to go viral, or just a level of comfort the rest of us mere mortals outside of Tennessee are simply unfamiliar with?

The Titans drafted offensive tackle Isaiah Wilson for their 29th overall pick, but as any lineman knows, it’s important to establish a good, wide base. Whoever this king of the can is, he’s setting a fine, unflinching example for the new rookie (regardless of whether it was later debunked by Vrabel or not).

If that’s not the definition of #TitanUp, we don’t know what is.

Next: 2020 NFL Draft tracker and instant grades

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