Ohio pastor says Super Bowl Halftime Show is keeping him out of heaven

NFL

An Ohio pastor wants to sue the NFL over the Super Bowl halftime show, claiming was a borderline “strip club performance.”

An Ohio pastor is furious.

Dave Daubenmire sat down for Super Bowl LIV between the San Francisco 49ers and Kansas City. He was ready for Patrick Mahomes and Nick Bosa. He yearned for Richard Sherman and Travis Kelce.

He got a great game. And yet he’s planning to sue the NFL and Pepsi — among others — for $867 trillion.

Wait, what?

According to Cleveland.com, a the Central Ohio evangelist went on Facebook to call out what he perceived as a borderline “strip club performance” at this year’s halftime show from Shakira and Jennifer Lopez.

On his “Pass the Salt” webcast, he described the courtroom as the appropriate venue to present evidence as to how the halftime show is preventing him from getting into the gates of heaven.

Daubenmire’s main complaints are the NFL giving “no warning” to what was about to go down on the halftime show. “What we saw yesterday was a strip club performance at the halftime of the Super Bowl,” he said in his Facebook Live post.

Incredibly, Daubenmire admits that while he’s incredibly offended and now may not get to the pearly gates … he didn’t tune into the entire halftime show.

Apparently $867 trillion is the price of admission for Heaven. Steep. Here’s to guessing no lawyer will be taking this case on pro bono.

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of God laughing.

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